Yes, vacation-y things. As I sit here, with American Teenager playing on the Beats Pill and the Asian heat making me feel as if I wanna say forget it all and strip down to the granny's, I can't help but to feel a new found sense of inspiration. The type of inspiration that wakes you from a deep slumber because you just gotta get it out! Been quite a while since I've felt this inspired. Been a while since I've written; wanted to write. Been a while since I've picked up my camera and actually felt inspired to capture the world around me. Been so long, and today, I feel good!
So here I am, easing back into things. After the death of my mother. After what felt like (and kinda still feels like) financial turmoil. After needing to clear my mind, disconnect from the world and connect closer to God. I sit here. I sit here because I've been wanting to write for so long. Been missing, truly missing, the feeling of the keys gliding beneath my fingertips. Man, I thank goodness for barely graduating and having to take a typing class my senior year in high school in order to make up for missed credits. May seem kinda silly to some, but I believe that The Lord has me here, right here, right now, for a divine purpose. I think I'm meant to write. Scary thing is, where do I find the time between working a full-time job, trying to be a dope and present parent, and trying to maintain some sort of sanity? That part, I don't quite have figured out yet, however, what I do have is TRUST! LORD, I TRUST YOU!
Feels good to talk to you again God, in a different type of way. A black and white type of way. Professing my love for you in a way that I haven't in quite a long time. Truly amazing how profound the vibe is. If you haven't quite noticed, this post is about nothing and everything all at the same time. I think I just gotta get it out. Kinda like coming into a large lump sum of money and feeling like the first thing you want to do is irresponsibly hit the mall, the dealership, or partake in the closest thing that's slightly ratchet or inappropriate. I think I just gotta get it out. Only thing is, I pray that this vibe, this want, need, and desire continues way beyond Thailand; way beyond the calm of the vacation air.
So I sit here, on vacation, doing vacation-y things. Thankful to all of you who continue to encourage, love on, and support me. I've said it many times before, I appreciate YOU! A person like me, needs people like YOU! Can't even fully explain to you what "a person like me" means, just know, that I'm messed up, in many different ways. I don't have it together, I'm just pretty decent at appearing to. I'll try my very best to carry this feeling back with me into the states. I'll continue to pray long and hard that The Lord sees it fit for me to continue to walk in my purpose; even if I don't quite know what my purpose is.
Y'all, I'm on vacation, doing vacation-y things. How incredibly dope is this! Let me just say, it's a feeling that I don't want to end.